i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
