Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
