I must be too annoying 4 u.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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