You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
