Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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