if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
