Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize