Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize