He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
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