I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
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