I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize