i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Oh god it's open bar.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
