She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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