i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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