Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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