I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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