could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Randomize
