its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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