I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize