I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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