is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
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