i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
