At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
