Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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