No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize