she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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