Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
My life is pants optional.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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