Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
