You're a womanizer and a bitch.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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