apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
