I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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