my mouth tastes like poor choices
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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