There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
