My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
