I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
