So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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