If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
