There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Mom said you looked used
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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