trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
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