Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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