remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
