textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
it's not cheating when I paid for it
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize