now i know why i became what i already was.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
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