i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
