I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
