its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Someone signed my nipple.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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