I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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