every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
