thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
