OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
