Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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