After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
