Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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