I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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