i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
