Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
