something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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