He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Dicks are not precious.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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