just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
