i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
